Asking For Help Doesn't Mean You've Failed
Understanding that accepting help isn't a failure is something I've struggled with. I thought independence was doing things by myself. Being helped counted as something I'd lost.
In theory, that doesn't sound reasonable. Living like that isn't realistic.
There are still a lot of things I want to do by myself. I will have days even now when I'd rather spend an extra ten minutes trying to do something myself and swearing at an inanimate object than have someone do it for me.
It's partly my innate stubbornness, but mainly it feels like admitting I can't do something.
I've had to learn that isn't the case.
A walking stick or a rest doesn't make me lazy. Asking for help to open a jar doesn't mean I've failed. It's a way to get through the day. I found it hard to get my head around, as I've always been independent.
Before my stroke, I didn't give doing things by myself a second thought. Planning a journey, conserving energy or asking someone to help me with something pretty basic wasn't something that I needed to factor into my life.
Now I have to take these things into account. I've realised the difference between needing help and giving up. Giving up would be deciding not to do something because its difficult. Accepting help allows me to do what I want.
There's no prize for making things unnecessarily difficult. I wish I'd realised that earlier. Asking for help doesn't make an achievement
