For Family and Friends
A stroke affects more than one person
A stroke affects more than just the survivor. There are partners, children, family members and friends who have to adjust to a big change in life.
One second everything is normal, and then it's all flipped upside down. There are hospital visits, difficult conversations, meetings with doctors, rehab therapists and new things to get used to.
While the survivor has to get used to their new life, the lives of the people around them have changed, and everyone is trying to work out how this new routine goes.
Having people around you
Support from family and friends after a stroke can make a massive difference. When the person who's had the stroke is in hospital and rehab, visits, messages and phone calls can mean the world and be a reassurance that people are still thinking about you.
When you come home, having people drop by for a visit, a chat on the phone or an invite out can make you feel less alone. Yes, the survivor may have limitations, but the offer and inclusion are what matter.
You don't have to have the answers or know what to say and do. It's having someone there that matters.
understanding life after a stroke
The thing about life after a stroke is that the person can look recovered, but on the inside it's totally different. They can walk, talk, and eat, but that doesn't mean everything is easy.
Things aren't always obvious. Fatigue can be a big, sometimes long-lasting effect of life after a stroke. Even though a survivor appears ok, ordinary activities, conversations and socialising can be exhausting.
There will be good days and difficult days, and being able to do something one day doesn't always mean it will be possible the next
Recovery isn't always straightforward, and progress can take time
how family and friends can help
There's no guidebook telling you how to help someone who's had a stroke. Sometimes being there, listening and staying in touch is what matters the most.
One thing to remember: just because someone has had a stroke doesn't mean they don't want to be included. Please keep inviting them to things, even though they may not be up to coming. Please be patient if they need more time or can't do something. It's likely to be incredibly frustrating for them!
Independence matters. Some of the time, a person may need help; sometimes they ask, but letting someone try to do something themselves matters hugely.
Don't forget the little achievements. Tying shoelaces or opening a jar may be ordinary to everyone else but could take an extremely long time to relearn.
relationships may change
After a stroke, people sometimes don't know how to act around the survivor. They may see the person they knew as being different and not know what to say or do. Some people may not know whether they should mention the stroke at all.
Partners and family members may find that their roles and responsibilities change.
Being seen as different can be upsetting. It's hard, but please try to see them as the same person as before, not just as someone who's had a stroke.
A stroke does change someone. It changes your outlook on life, what you value and sometimes how you see the world, but deep down they are still that person you knew, with the same humour, interests, and need for friendship.
remember to look after yourself
With so much attention being focused on the stroke survivor, it's important to think about the people around them too. Partners, family members and friends can focus on supporting the person they care about while dealing with their own worries, emotions and changes to everyday life.
Looking after someone can be physically and emotionally exhausting. It can help to find someone to talk to and turn to for support.
Taking time out to rest, find something fun to do and step back from the situation can be incredibly beneficial.
It also gives you something from normal life to talk about when visiting the person in the hospital, rather than everything being about the stroke.
a few final thoughts
Life after a stroke changes for everyone. Things may be different; you may have to alter plans, and it all takes time to adjust.
It's important to remember, though, that life continues beyond the stroke. Keep spending time together; keep including the stroke survivor in your plans and keep talking. Things won't be the same, but life after a stroke doesn't stop.
