What People See
One of the weirdest parts of life after a stroke is seeing how other people react to you. I'm not talking about family and friends, but people in society. It's the way people react to seeing my walking stick, my glasses and sometimes the way I use my left hand.
Everyone makes assumptions about things. We see something and our brains fill in the gaps. When it comes to disability, these assumptions aren't always right.
Disability aids don't define a person. Occasionally I feel that my stick is more noticeable than I am.
In the encounters I've had, the vast majority of people haven't been rude, just awkward. People don't always know what to say, so a lot of the time they stay silent. Sometimes they talk over my head to John or make assumptions about what I can or can't do on my behalf.
On one occasion, while using a wheelchair, a couple asked John about the T-shirt I was wearing. Their faces when I answered for myself were amusing. They weren't being rude. It was just another example of people not knowing what to do.
Living life with a disability isn't always about the physical things that make life more difficult. It can also be about how other people see you.
The problem is that it is out of your control. I had to realise that I can't influence how other people react.
People will make assumptions. Some will be rude, some will be perfectly nice and act normally, and there are plenty of people who have no idea what to do and end up making the situation way more awkward than it needs to be.
